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Quotes: Volume II

“We need to

stop

teaching daughters

to always be quiet

and apologetic.

They are instructed

to walk on ice

and carefully string words

as they trip over thin tongues

while our sons

run rampant.”

      —   Michelle K., Growing Up With a Brother

“I will, in few words. You are cold, because you are alone: no contact strikes the fire from you that is in you. You are sick; because the best of feelings, the highest and the sweetest given to man, keeps far away from you. You are silly, because, suffer as you may, you will not beckon it to approach, nor will you stir one step to meet it where it waits you.”

       —   Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

        —   Roald Dahl, The Twits

“I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”

—            Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

“I remembered that, and, remembering that, I remembered everything.”

—            Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane

  

“My mother taught me

the distinct smell before the rain,

the promise of cleansing.

Didn’t anyone warn you

I’m what natural disasters

are named after?

I am a river,

good luck controlling me

good luck slowing me down.

There isn’t an ounce of age

to my soul.”

—            Michelle K., Aries in the Mornings

“The less I needed, the better I felt.”

—            Charles Bukowski

“Let me tell you what I do know: I am more than one thing, and not all of those things are good. The truth is complicated. It’s two-toned, multi-vocal, bittersweet. I used to think that if I dug deep enough to discover something sad and ugly, I’d know it was something true. Now I’m trying to dig deeper. I didn’t want to write these pages until there were no hard feelings, no sharp ones. I do not have that luxury. I am sad and angry and I want everyone to be alive again. I want more landmarks, less landmines. I want to be grateful but I’m having a hard time with it.”

—            Richard Siken

“At fifteen you had the radiance of early morning, at twenty you will begin to have the melancholy brilliance of the moon.”

—            F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

“You speak like the fire

which burned my home

and know nothing

but ashes that fall.

I tried to kiss your raging

skin but you draw

my tongue out of my mouth

replacing it with such

profane utterances.

When will I ever be enough

to douse everything in fire?

I feel drought living

on my chest.

Maybe mother was right,

soon— I’d die in my own flames

and in my death, all i could

hear is your voice,

setting my eulogy ablaze.”

“He may love you. He probably does. He probably thinks about you all the time. But that isn’t what matters. What matters is what he’s doing about it, and what he’s doing about it is nothing. And if he’s doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn’t do anything. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life.”

“We live in an age where we feel guilt whenever we have to cut someone off but the reality is that some relationships do need to die, some people do need to be unfollowed and defriended. We aren’t meant to be this tethered to the people in our past. The Internet mandates that we don’t burn bridges and keep everyone around like relics but those expectations are unrealistic and unhealthy. Simply put, we don’t need to know what everyone else is up to. We’re allowed to be choosy about who we surround ourselves with online and in real life, even if it might hurt people’s feelings.”

—            Ryan O’Connell, You Don’t Have To Be Friends With Everybody

“Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can. But life leaps over oblivion lightly, losing only a thing or two of no importance, and gloom is but the passing shadow of a cloud.”

—            Yann Martel, Life of Pi

“Even under the best of circumstances, there’s just something so damn tragic about growing up.”

—            Jonathan Tropper, This Is Where I Leave You

“The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you”

—            Neil deGrasse Tyson

“When your past calls, don’t answer. It has nothing new to say.”

“I get so attached so easily, and it’s what will destroy me in the end.”

—            Azaria Franco

“If you remember your past too well you start blaming your present for it. Look what they did to me, that’s what caused me to be like this, it’s not my fault. Permit me to correct you: it probably is your fault. And kindly spare me the details.”

—            Julian Barnes, Talking It Over

“I was a normal eighteen-year-old: shuttered, self-conscious, untravelled and sneering; violently educated, socially crass, emotionally blurting.”

—            Julian Barnes

“I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, “Kiss me harder,” and “You’re a good person,” and, “You brighten my day.” I live my life as straight-forward as possible.

Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.

Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.

But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.

And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.

We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.

We never know when the bus is coming.”

—            Rachel C. Lewis, Tell The People You Love That You Love Them

“Kindness should be the natural way of life, not the exception.”

—            Buddha

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

—            Muhammad Ali

“Beautiful things don’t ask for attention.”

—            James Thurber, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

“You are here. You are not the one who will go and come. Let what you’re suffering from go and come, not you. You stay put.”

—            Mooji

* Once again, I tried to include a source for all the ones I could

Madama Butterfly

My second opera (this week!) was Madama Butterfly. I went with my cousin, Yumi, and I'll start off by talking about the events leading up to the show. Well we haven't seen each other in person since January and we've both recently become obsessed with Gossip Girl, don't judge. As you might expect, attending an event associated with the social elite had gone to our heads and we were ready for our debut (excuse the melodramatics). My morning was going well at first, I had an extremely cute outfit ready and I did my hair and makeup with care for once but as soon as I walked out the door, the wind and drizzle ruined all my efforts. Despite me being unable to control the weather, I was not about to let the weather control me. I was determined to make the day everything I expected. One inevitable pitfall was the fact that we were going to dinner and the show with a few of Yumi's classmates. Due to my lack of social interactions this year, I was weary of having to deal with 10 strangers at once but despite my anti-social tendencies I am a very friendly and bubbly girl. I won't spend much time dwelling on them but it is necessary to mention and emphasize their absolute stupidity. Yumi and I had planned on walking to the opera from her college and eating at a very cute and well priced diner about 5 blocks from the opera. Yet these lazy, incompetent fools insisted on wasting time milling around, being indecisive since they didn't want to waste time and be late to the show, the irony. Y and I ended up ditching them and went to enjoy a wonderful meal with wonderful service while they ended up at Wendy's. I would never. Well, we grabbed coffee on the way back and made our way to our seats about 15 minutes before the performance. I was just as amazed by the grandeur of the auditorium and Madama Butterfly was even more amazing and elaborate in its own way than the last opera. The storyline was tragic and it scared me to see how easily Butterfly's life was left in pieces. Again I recommend attending the opera to anyone who is a fan of the theatre, its a truly enjoyable and unforgettable experience.

Quotes: Volume I

I have a great amount of quotes that I've amassed over the years. I've been meaning to keep a quote book where I can hand write my favorites but until I have the time and patience to do that, posting groups of them here will suffice. There will be more volumes to come since my collection is ever growing. I find comfort in quotes because good ones can stand on their own and they come without attachment, which leaves me free to make them my own. Enjoy :)

(Side Note: unfortunately, some may not have a source)

“Strange,

I barely know you,

but yet I feel deeply connected to you.

Crave,

I never had you,

but yet I feel so lonely without

 you.”

—   Beautiful Stranger

“I don’t care about losing people who don’t wanna be in my life anymore. I’ve lost people who meant the world to me and I’m still doing just fine.”

—   Pleasure P

“Act like you trust people, but don’t.”

“Be nobody’s darling;

Be an outcast.

Take the contradictions

Of your life

And wrap around

You like a shawl,

To parry stones

To keep you warm.”

—Alice Walker

“Sometimes,

I wake up

at four in the morning

and taste smoke

in the back of my throat.

I swear to god,

you’re still burning

somewhere inside me."

-Solange

“For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.

So collapse.

Crumble.

This is not your destruction.

This is your birth.”

“We lived, as usual by ignoring. Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.”

—Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

“You wanna know what living life to the fullest actually is? It’s waking up on a Monday morning with no complaints. It’s knowing you always deserve to laugh. It’s doing what feels right no matter what. It’s doing what you want to, no matter how stupid you look. It’s about being yourself, ‘cause no one can tell you you’re doing it wrong.”

“Some days you are the explosion,

and other days you are the aftermath.

We don’t have to talk about the bloody knees right now.

We don’t have to talk about the nights you feared

the world would end,

or the nights you

wished it would.

I found you here with your

bones leaking smoke

and ignored the broken fire escape,

the rusty ladder you knocked down

before it could save you.

We all have different reasons

for sleeping in burning buildings,

and some days your eyes are still sirens,

still flashing emergencies telling me I’m too late.

But maybe we were never dying.

Maybe all those times we ran out of breath

were just for practice.

When did learning how to survive

become falling in love with the way we don’t?

You’re taking comfort in the fact that

this will end soon.

I’m taking comfort in the fact that you’re still right here.”

“I think it’s intoxicating when somebody is so unapologetically who they are.”

—Don Cheadle

I live for coincidences. They briefly give to me the illusion or the hope that there’s a pattern to my life, and if there’s a pattern, then maybe I’m moving toward some kind of destiny where it’s all explained.”

—Jonathan Ames, My Less Than Secret Life: A Diary, Fiction, Essays

“Nothing can wear you out like caring about people.”

—S.E. Hinton, That Was Then, This Is Now

“That’s why she’s in love with you, you know…There were a lot of other boys, but they didn’t scare her. She rather frightened them, I think. You’re very different. But I think you frightened her, and that’s why she likes you.”

—Aurelia Plath, Sylvia

“I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good.”

— Roald Dahl

“You are a

hurricane of

a girl;

remember

to breathe

every once

and a while,

do not drown

within your

own storm.”

“I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.”

— Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis

“I said never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn’t apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn’t say sorry for falling. Feelings just are.”

—   Iain S. Thomas

“Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder. To search for the truth.”

—Albert Einstein

“You are allowed to be alive. You are allowed to be somebody different. You are allowed to not say goodbye to anybody or explain a single thing to anyone, ever.”

— Augusten Burroughs

“I’m that douchebag friend who doesn’t talk to you for weeks but still cares about you and hopes you still care too.”

“I am proud that I defy your categories. I am proud that I don’t fit easily into any box. I am proud of all the things I am and all the things i can be. Question yourself every time you think you only see one thing in me.”

— David Levithan, Wide Awake

“And you tried to change, didn’t you? Closed your mouth more. Tried to be softer, prettier, less volatile, less awake… You can’t make homes out of human beings. Someone should have already told you that. And if he wants to leave, then let him leave. You are terrifying, and strange, and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love.”

— Warsan Shire, For Women Who Are Difficult To Love

“1. I’m lonely so I do lonely things

2. Loving you was like going to war; I never came back the same.

3. You hate women, just like your father and his father, so it runs in your blood.

4. I was wandering the derelict car park of your heart looking for a ride home.

5. You’re a ghost town I’m too patriotic to leave.

6. I stay because you’re the beginning of the dream I want to remember.

7. I didn’t call him back because he likes his girls voiceless.

8. It’s not that he wants to be a liar; it’s just that he doesn’t know the truth.

9. I couldn’t love you, you were a small war.

10. We covered the smell of loss with jokes.

11. I didn’t want to fail at love like our parents.

12. You made the nomad in me build a house and stay.

13. I’m not a dog.

14. We were trying to prove our blood wrong.

15. I was still lonely so I did even lonelier things.

16. Yes, I’m insecure, but so was my mother and her mother.

17. No, he loves me he just makes me cry a lot.

18. He knows all of my secrets and still wants to kiss me.

19. You were too cruel to love for a long time.

20. It just didn’t work out.

21. My dad walked out one afternoon and never came back.

22. I can’t sleep because I can still taste him in my mouth.

23. I cut him out at the root, he was my favorite tree, rotting, threatening the foundations of my home.

24. The women in my family die waiting.

25. Because I didn’t want to die waiting for you.

26. I had to leave, I felt lonely when he held me.

27. You’re the song I rewind until I know all the words and I feel sick.

28. He sent me a text that said “I love you so bad.”

29. His heart wasn’t as beautiful as his smile

30. We emotionally manipulated one another until we thought it was love.

31. Forgive me, I was lonely so I chose you.

32. I’m a lover without a lover.

33. I’m lovely and lonely.

34. I belong deeply to myself.”

— Warsan Shire

“I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go”

— Yann Martel, Life of Pi

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

—   Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“Expectation is the root of all heartache.”

— Shakespeare

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”

La Sonnambula

I'm in the honors program in my college, a fact I'm not particularly happy about since it has many restrictions when it comes to classes, classmates, and teachers. But something nice about being an honors student is that a few times a semester, free tickets to ballets, operas, and the like are made available to us. Last semester I was unfortunately unable to take advantage of this which caused me to miss out on productions such as Swan Lake and the Nutcracker. Heartbreaking. I didn't realize how tragic this was until last night when I was finally able to attend an event, an opera. It was the most magical night I've had in a long time. The seat I had was surprisingly great, I was right in the middle of the orchestra! I could see and hear everything with ease and the production I saw was La Sonnambula. This was a new storyline to me which at first made me weary since I thought I would be lost but that wasn't the case at all. The vocals were beautiful and the performers were all superb. I went alone which also slightly concerned me but I can say that it was one of my highlights of the year. I recommend attending the opera or perhaps paying a visit to the David Koch theatre or the New York Philharmonic which are literally all an arms reach away. The architecture and juxtaposition of all these cultural centers is enough to take a person's breath away, now imagine the performances they home! I learned that the opera is actually quite pricey but that won't keep me away, I would love to take a trip to see a show at least once a month. I'm actually going to be seeing Madama Butterfly in two days, I can't believe my luck :)

-Vidushi

Good Reads

Books I plan on either reading or rereading this year
-The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka
-Great Expectations, Charles Dickens *currently reading*
-Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami 
-Dance Dance Dance, Haruki Murakami
-Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
-To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
-Catch 22, Joseph Heller
-Tender is the Night, F. Scott Fitzgerald
-As I Lay Dying, Wiliam Faulkner
-The Age of Innocence, Edith Wharton 
-The House of Mirth, Edith Wharton
-This is How You Lose Her, Junot Diaz
-Gone With the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
-The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway
-One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Ben Kesey
-Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe
-The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini 
-A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Hosseini
-Life of Pi, Yann Martel
-Millennium Series, Steig Larson
-Looking For Alaska, John Green 
-Ham on Rye, Charles Bukowkski
-Post Office, Charles Bukowski
-Women, Charles Bukowski
-Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk